Don’t settle. Don’t finish crappy books. If you don’t like the menu, leave the...– Chris Brogan (via mirroir)
emilioestevez: story time so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
angelwithwormstache: portablemiah: benskid: portablemiah: illegal immigrants? you mean white people except that white people didn’t immigrate into the united states… they funded the united states. you can’t illegally immigrate into a society you created. did you actually just say white people created society in america
gentlemanbones: zeldasboyfriend: me flirting You can’t just whip out your cock at somebody man
thylaa: how unsubtle are you about your homosexuality on a scale of one to star trek the original series
robertoluongo: in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
Anonymous asked: What kind of engineer are you?
WHEN SOMEONE HAS BAD TASTE IN POWERPOINT TEMPLATES
vampireswillbutthurtyou: don’t you hate it when you’re trying to play basketball and your head’s in the game but your heart’s in the song
Egg: (Yo’, man) Yo’ (Open up, man) What do you... →
aplanbasedonaband: (Yo’, man) Yo’ (Open up, man) What do you want, man? (My girl just caught me) You let her catch you? (I don’t know how I let this happen) With who? (The girl next door, you know) Man (I don’t know what to do) Say it wasn’t you (Alright) Honey came in and she caught me red-handed …
Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed...– Dream Hampton (via fawun)
The United States of America on college education
Student: I'm not going to go to college because I don't want to go into debt.
USA: YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT. YOU'RE GOING TO AMOUNT TO NOTHING YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG. YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MY TAXES ARE SO HIGH.
Student: I'm just going to attend a small community college instead.
USA: HAHAHA YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO GET INTO A GOOD UNIVERSITY. ENJOY YOUR MCDONALD'S DIPLOMA.
Student: I attended a four year university and received a diploma in a field I am interested in. Now I am $50,000+ in debt.
USA: YOU DUMBASS. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU COULDN'T AFFORD IT? YOU DIDN'T EVEN CHOOSE A USEFUL MAJOR EITHER. GOD PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE ME SICK.
netscapeshawty how come i cant just write this separate like a regular post i dont wanna be apart of the dialogue: ay man listen man no matter what u do theres always gonna be haters fuck the haters do what u gotta do man wooo child these bath salts hittin man *drives off in '86 BMW doing 78 knots per hour*
iguanamouth: I KEEP THINKING ABOUT DINOSAUR BONES LIKE SOME OF THEM ARE SO FUCKING BIG YOU KNOW PEOPLE USED TO DIG THOSE UP AND THINK THEY WERE FROM DRAGONS THE LARGEST SKULL EVER FOUND WAS OVER 8 GODDAMN FEET LONG FROM A TOROSAURUS THATS FUCKING INSANE IM SO PUMPED ABOUT THIS I LOV E DINOSAURS LETS GO BURN DOWN THE POST OFFICE
mina-marina: fanboywithoutacause: when did this become more attractive than this i can name 950 reasons and all of them are mullet. Those bang baby!
mmtthhddss: Community College Tips: Don’t talk to anybody Don’t make eye contact Avoid the cafeteria because they will probably be doing a flash mob to current viral song Transfer The guy who constantly tries to play devils advocate with the teacher and sound philosophical whenever he speaks actually is failing the class but it doesn’t matter because grades doesn’t determine his self worth...
powerburial: DON’T make me nervous DO not make me nervous
Kim kar dash out of there kanye its going to eat you